A bride starts organising her wedding with nothing but a fantasy of love, romance and celebration in mind. She might have imagined her gown and flowers since she was a little girl, dressing up in her mother’s clothes. She might have fashioned a clover ring for her wedding ring finger and acted out the ceremony in the primary school playground. She might have imagined being the centre of attention for the day – swathed in white, surrounded by the people she loves and looking more beautiful than anyone in a fashion magazine.

The reality often hits home when a bride realises that her wedding day is not 100% her own. Her fantasy needs to combine with other important people in her world including her groom, her parents, the grooms family and her friends. All will have a vision of their own and depending on the personalities involved, often this can become a source of tension in the planning process.

One of the ways a great wedding planner (aka your personal counsellor at this special time) can help you deal with this tension is by helping the bride decide on the really important aspects of the day that she absolutely will not compromise. Whether you have a planner or not, make answering this question a priority for you and your husband-to-be: what is truly important to you about your day? Sit down together quietly and answer this question honestly. Write down your answer and keep it handy for reference in the future.

Once your priorities for the day are understood, it is possible to negotiate through the web of ideas and opinions of those involved in your wedding. There are always things you can “let go of”, for example, why not include Aunty Berryl’s favourite hair pin as part of your bouquet rather than in your beautifully coiffed hair?

Most of the time, the smallest things that people ask can be accommodated if you think laterally. The trick is to stand back and take a big breath and think about it fully before you leap in and think the worst.

Having said that, don’t compromise on the really special elements to you. It’s most important that you love your day and remember it with such glee that you can’t wipe the smile off your face!

A great wedding planner can help you resolve any tension and include everyone’s needs in the day by helping you think outside the square. If you have any questions about how to resolve family tensions, please email me.

Happy celebrating!

Kathryn