It’s easy for Valentine’s Day to quickly degrade into a cringey celebration of carnations and cheap chocolate. Here are my Valentine’s Day Do’s and Don’ts to keep the tack at bay:

Don’t:

Guys, please don’t buy us something practical for Valentine’s Day. No kitchen stuff, no laundry stuff and definitely no guy stuff (CDs, DVDs, sports equipment, software or tools).

Guys, please don’t buy us clothes for Valentine’s Day unless you know our size, shape and taste extremely well, you are cruising for a bruising… this is an all-time no-winner – does it make me look fat? is it the wrong size? did you buy a 16 when she’s only a 10? This goes for lingerie too. If you must, please make it subtle, cute and the absolute right size.

Don’t buy a padded or musical card. The bigger they are the worse they are!

Don’t even think about buying single roses – some may say it’s romantic – but really, it’s just cheap!

Girls, guys don’t want a teddy bear if they are over 6 years of age. Just don’t.

Do’s:

Guys, the Holy Trinity of Valentine’s Day offerings: flowers, jewellery and chocolate will always do the trick. But please, please, please do make them all authentic – no silk flowers, plastic bling or Cadbury’s.

What a woman wants, what a woman needs is a simple gesture of intimacy from you, the tiniest something that lets her know these chocolates, these flowers, these metallic thingies are but tokens of your deepest feelings for her. So do take time to put a little of yourself into her Valentine’s Day gift, there’s the tiniest chance you won’t have to duck it coming back at you.

Oh and it helps if you have a truly glorious gift delivered to us at the office. It makes the other girls ooh and aah and makes us feel really special.

Girls, a wise friend of mine once said that guys feel exactly the same way we do i.e., they love being spoilt too, they love attention too and they love to be loved too. So, while a big bunch of antique roses probably won’t do it for them, a romantic gesture (dinner, a sumptuous bottle of red, and a Nigella mortal-sin chocolate cake) will surely warm the cockles of his heart.

Happy Celebrating!

Kathryn